I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Randomize
