Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
