Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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