We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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