I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Banned from zoo.
Again?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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