i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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