Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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