i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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