At least make sure they are 18
Why
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
