Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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