Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
