...so i touched it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
