I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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