My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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