pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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