How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
