The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
