yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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