8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She said her name was "party"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
