Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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