Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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