you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hippo gnu deer
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
