All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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