my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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