if i can run in heels then i can drive
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
