whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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