I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
