even my farts smell like vagina
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
