Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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