it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
