she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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