can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
