well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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