People in love make me want to vomit
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
