Your mouth is God's brothel.
only if we run a train.
done.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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