Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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