i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
