you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
