meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
