Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
