"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize