Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(132): View more from

if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder

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(618): View more from Illinois

My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."

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(301): View more from Maryland

Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.

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(716): View more from New York

You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Pencil dick carries the name proudly.

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(360): View more from Washington

I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.

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