It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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