Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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