The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
