its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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