It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
