Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
