Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
