This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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