his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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