How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
50% drunk capacity currently
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
